Our second to last night on Grand Island, NY, we rented a canoe and paddled around the lake just as the sun was headed for bed and the mosquitoes came out to feast on human flesh.

Nice.

Anyway, it was a sweet, special time with our girls. I was up front. The wiggly ones sat in the middle and Daniel was at the back, the captain in charge of this vessel. He really did most of the paddling while RR and I splashed along whenever we realized he had switched sides and we were working against him instead of with him. PN paddled now and then but mostly leaned over the sides trailing her hands in the water.

We had no destination, no point really. I mostly prayed I’d make it through the experience without a dip in the extremely cold water. Danny and PN are up for adventure at all times, anywhere. They were fine. Poor RR. She’s her mother’s child and the whole night kept asking, “where are we going?” Or “what I want to know is where are we going?” Continuously.

Well, the truth is we didn’t know where we were going at all. Under the bridge? Yes, but look out for the spider on Mommy’s paddle because it’s accidentally close to PN’s face who screams and launches herself to the other side of our narrow canoe causing all of us to holler and sway and panic a bit. Or by the fishing dock? Ok. Maybe through the shallow area where Mommy has to push the bank with her oar and Daddy hollers instructions and mutters under his breath about his less-than-worthy crew.

Anywhere. Everywhere.

But for RR, it’s hard. Hello. It’s hard for me, too. We are girls who need a plan, a goal, a real life purpose and sometimes we just don’t have one. We’re in a canoe with a Captain who knows what’s up but doesn’t always share with us and rather than be tortured by it, our baby girl is learning to go with it, to embrace it. He’s got this. We’re ok.

Enjoy dusk on a little lake in a red canoe. Try the soup you’ve never tasted before. Sleep in your jacket. Climb this hill with your hands in the dirt if you must. Learn math skills from your dad.

Keep at it, keep trusting. Keep trying even if you don’t know where you are going. He does.